Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Bachelorettes are back!

Bachelorette time and BOY do I have got some goodies for you! But 1st some chit-chat... Boss came into my office yesterday, shut the door and sat down all serious-like. Of course my throat siezed up in a knot immediately (which is probably what he was going for, the sadist LOL) but he didn't let me suffer long. He wanted to let me know that as of the 19th I will start working till 5pm close. So HOB's last day must be the Friday prior. It's only one more hour. No big deal. I can handle it.

This morning, however, it dawned on me that since she really is leaving she's NEVER gonna clean that nasty-ass microwave. URGH. It's bad. I last cleaned it in 2007 and she had it nasty within 2 days so I have since refused to clean it again and I've been waiting to see how long or how bad it would have to get before she'd break down and clean up her own mess... see below...folks, that's mess from dozens of cans of vienna sausages, potted meat, canned tuna and lean cuisines. And stuff I don't even wanna know about. It's gross. I don't use it unless I put my food in a paper bag to protect it and then, it's ONLY when I'm desperate and can't eat my food cold.

Other news- we haven't seen another roach since that last one I told you about. So far so good. But- the pest control people are still scheduled for Thursday. I'm gonna lie and tell them I've been seeing them every day so they will consider it bad enough to do a mandatory spray in all of the apartments around us and not just treat my own apartment.
And now, the bachelorettes---
Look at the ass of her jeans- everything is too small. You just KNOW that that thong is strangling her girly bits. You just know it. My tip for this woman would be to find a better friend because whomever took that photo and didn't tell her did her no favors. A TRUE BLUE friend will tell you when things aren't looking right. Everything is too small!!!

She called herself a "hot bi-wife" and this was her pic. Seriously NOT HOT. Not even luke warm. I don't know what look she was going for but the pic looks like she's trying to pop that zit.
Whenever I look at this photo I think "Birth canal head". My kids were born with perfect heads of course. I'm remembering my sister's pointy-headed babies.

Giggle-snort- this is what Barney Fife would look like as a woman. I see this and immediately I hear the whistling song of the Andy Griffith Show.

For comparison......

This next available bachelorette loves salsa dancing. Yes. Salsa dancing. What's that? You can't imagine doing the sexy dance with this sweet young thang??? I can't imagine why.

Oh yeah, she doesn't look crazy at all.....................................
The poor dog looks frightened & I am frightened for it. Seriously. This girl creeped me all the way out. Why is she in her closet and what's up with the stuffed bat and would you ever in this life let her put her chubby little hands on you?

All that hair-Mrs. Duggar style. Omg. Can you imagine what it smells like? I'm guessing it smells dusty. I see this and my twisted, warped mind just knows she's wearing a fur bikini.
Cute cat though! And she does look like she's a friendly lady. (See, I'm not always mean LOL)

This lady said her friends all call her "Minty". I think if she had any real friends they'd tell her that she looks like an idiot in that hairstyle.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? That's the biggest fucking dream catcher I have ever seen. I wonder if those dangling feathers on the wall bother the birds.
Well, that's it for me now, I've gotta get some work done, I look forward to reading your thoughts on these lovely ladies!

Monday, January 05, 2009


On Friday HOB told me that she's not going to be here much longer. I asked her when her last day would be and she didn't give me an exact but she said she guessed a week or two. She's going to have to find another part time job, she has one on the weekends already. She said she's going to draw her dead ex-husbands social security to help make ends meet too. Boss hasn't said a word to me about anything but I'm going to assume that since she's going he's keeping me around, at least for now.

I went into IHOP this weekend prepared for a battle that never took place. The little bitch hostess (LBH) who only wanted to seat her sisters and school friends stations has been made into a server herself. Now she's at the mercy of a hostess just like we were HAHAHA. The hostesses that worked this weekend rotated stations fairly so there were no complaints. Boss handed me the managers card for Saturday and so I was the go-to girl all day but it wasn't busy so I didn't mind. He also gave me the task of assigning side work- I gave LBH the worst for our shift LOL-condiments. And I was meticulous in my checking of sidework and made her fill up everything, even the tabasco. Boss cut the floor at noon, leaving me and John to cover the floor. Not that he needed us either. After all of the others had gone we sat around till 5, the 2nd shift never showed at 2pm so we had to wait for someone to be called in.

Sunday John and I were put in charge as new shift leaders. We got drunk with power and made everyone (really it's all teenagers except for Moe, Barb, Irma, me and John and we don't have to boss them around because they already do it right) mad by making them do their sidework and table cleaning by the book. I always make them do tables by the book, so that was nothing new. Really it's a game. They try to get away with not doing it and I actually take the time to check almost every single table down to the nitty gritty. I'm not perfect, once in a while one or two will get past me, that's why they keep trying. But, for the most part, they only hurt themselves, which is what I remind them when they complain about having to stay late. "You only had 3 tables to clean so stop complaining, you work them, you make money off of them, you leave them in order for the next server PERIOD." Anyway John was really on their asses for sidework like I was tables- oh my GOD did he find shit for them to do. GIGGLES. Woodwork and windows included GIGGLE-SNORT. It was priceless. I think I love John. He was very creative.

I saw and obliviated a roach with a fly swatter on Friday. I was in my kitchen cooking dinner at the time and I swear, I beat it so badly it almost wasn't a bug anymore. K considers this progress against my phobia, I beg to differ. I was pissed that I had to face it down before it got away because he was playing Madden 08 less than 10 feet away and kept saying "HUH?" when I screamed out BUG!!! BUG!!! BUGGGGG!!!!!!!!! Neither of us ate the dinner I prepared. My appetite was gone and he wanted pizza. We haven't seen once since, but I still went down to the apartment office and politely let them know I was very disappointed to have been given a roach infested apartment. They have already signed us up for pest control services Thursday but I don't want to wait so we are setting our own bug bomb off tomorrow. Would have been today but K didn't go buy one yesterday although he did empty out all of the freshly unpacked cupboards so they can be thoroughly treated a few times.

Well, I have to get some work started, I'll talk to ya later!

Friday, January 02, 2009


TGIF! So how did y'all spend your 1st day of the new year? I spent mine doing exactly what I wanted, I slept in till 8:30, got up and fixed myself waffles with peanut butter and hot syrup for breakfast. After that, I took a hot bath, donned my cute pink and red flannel pj's and my matching wool socks, grabbed my blanket and settled in on the sofa, remote control in one hand, ice cold Diet Coke in the other. I had a movie marathon, I watched Roberta, My Favorite Wife and Theodora Goes Wild - all with Irene Dunne and also Bringing up Baby with Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant. I have one movie saved, K got off from work before I could enjoy it- The Awful Truth with Cary Grant and Irene Dunne. It's a goodie, I've seen it before. I've seen most of them before, though LOL.

We are still enjoying the new apartment- with the exception of having upstairs neighbors. We will have to get used to the noise, but really, all we do now is look at our ceiling wondering what in the hell they are doing up there. Bangs, scraping sounds, footsteps, tapping, hammering, sounds of things being slid or dragged across the floor. And then there is their patio door. Really, they need a revolving door. They open and slam that fucker shut every 3-5 minutes all day and all evening until somewhere around 11pm. Over and over and over and over. It was all I could do to keep myself from going on my own patio and shouting up
But of course I only enjoyed that as an idea- because we all know if I actually started a war with them they'd win by doing everything while stomping.

K had a little surprise for me when he came home man Jaime's new CD. We listened to it "cover to cover" last night and I gotta sucked. The whole thing. There wasn't one redeeming song on it.The best part of the album were the pictures inside and even they were disappointing because he didn't smile in even one pic. I still love him and want to have his babies though. But tell everyone, save their money. For real. I'm his biggest fan and even I want my money back on this one.

Well, I suppose I should get busy doing something around to ya Monday!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Last one till next year-

Hi everyone!  Are you all set for NYE?  K and I decided against going to Victory Plaza tonight, we aren't up for traffic or crowds.  I'm kinda glad, I'd rather stay home in my pj's watching Dick Clarks New Years Rockin Eve and the Times Square stuff.  To me, that is NYE!  We have our champagne chillin' in the fridge, we'll pick up dinner from somewhere (I'm hoping for Chinese) and we've got something from Netflix waiting for us too so it'll be a nice night at home. 
I hope that all of you have a safe and wonderful New Years Eve celebration!  I'm off Thursday- the one day where it is socially acceptable to be hungover and miss work LOL.  But I'll be here Friday.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Well folks, this is how we're living.

This is our floorplan which would be exact if you just flipped it over and removed the fireplace, we didn't want one this time we wanted the extra wall space.  It looks small, it is small, but honestly we are loving it!  The kitchen is a bit smaller than my previous but it has the same number of cabinets so I haven't lost a thing in storage.   Really, we are pretty happy with our decision to downsize.  The kitchen, bath, closet are unpacked and while I was at work on Sunday, K loaded up the rest of the stuff into the storage closet and arranged the furniture in the livingroom...and I hate it.  But I don't know how to break it to him because he was so proud of himself.  Basically, the loveseat has to GO.  There is no room for it.  He has this idea that we need to keep it so we can sell the whole set, I think we need to toss it.  Anyway, I'll leave things as they are for right now so he doesn't get his feelings hurt, but you can betcha it won't be long.  At least everything is organized and put away and even if the furniture layout is terrible it's clean.
The only bad thing- I saw a roach in our closet on Saturday.  Just one and so far no others.  Yes.  I cried.  Actually, I freaked all the way out and hyperventillated.  K took everything (and I do mean everything) back out of the closet and shook each item out to ensure me it was a lone roach.  That helped a little but honestly, I'm scared of my closet now and my eyes are constantly scanning the corners, nooks and crannies of the apartment for any sign of movement.  Which is fucked up because sometimes the movement my eyes catch is just my reflection, like when I went to turn on the water and screamed like a little bitch because the reflection of my fingers on the polished chrome startled me.
Work sucked big time and I'm not 100% sure what I'm planning to do about it (if anything).  Here's the sitch- the host and hostess SUCK and have absolutely no concept of how important it is that they seat us fairly.  What's worse is the boss tells them how they have all the power- they "control" how much money we may make by who they seat.  Having my earning potential in the hands of 15 year olds who KNOW the power they possess pisses me off more than you can imagine.  What pisses me off even more is that the hostess only wants to seat her fucking sister the waitress and thinks no one is wise enough to notice that she seats us the scrap.  So.  I want to quit.  Because it's bullshit.  I want to go to Denny's and see if it would be any better.  Or, back to the other IHOP.  Whichever.  Really, I'm just sick of the whole senario and I just want to quit so he'll lose an excellant server like me and so I can tell him point blank why I left.  BUT- (isn't there always one?) ---- what if Denny's is no better?  What if I can't get a weekend off when I need one?  What if I lose this day job?  Will they take me full time?  The owner at IHOP told me that he'd squeeze me in full time if he had to but not to worry he'd make room.  UGH.  I don't know what to do.  Ride these teenage bitches out?  It seriously, SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY pisses me off.  Next weekend we shall battle, I WILL seat myself if they are going about it willy-nilly and I WILL dare them to say anything to me about it.  And if the manager decides to say something about it I can't promise all hell won't break loose because really, I'm way cool and will take all kinds of bullshit until my breaking point and then, honey, man-woman or child- you had better watch the hell out.  And that breaking point has reached near boiling point.
Oh, guess what!  OK so I told you what HOB said that the boss said to her, right?  That stuff about how if she'd put her dog to sleep and take in a roommate she'd be just fine living off of Social Security?  And how she told him to shove it, basically, and he told her he hated her?  Well, ever since then she's really slacked off on the "extra" work she called herself doing, spending time goofing off (like me now lol) and she doesn't want to be bothered with him.  She doesn't ask him anything etc.  Well now Friday she asks me if I bought the step stool for her though the work account or did she buy it herself, I told her I ordered it, it was $7 and did she want another one?  I was thinking she wanted one for home but she said "no, I'm just asking because I don't want to take anything that isn't mine.  I'm going to be taking things home with me a little at a time because I'm not going to be here much longer" and my brain went "WHAT???" but I kept myself from asking because really, I'm afraid to hope too much that this means anything.  If I am still here in the spring I'll feel confident again, lol.